i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize