I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
