shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize