didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
