Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
