I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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