In the future we'll all be gay
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
