i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
