Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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