i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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