Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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