I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
