Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
