i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
