I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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