and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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