Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize