i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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