At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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