My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
