Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
