my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
