Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
