I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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