It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
