we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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