also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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