So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
