Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
