two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
