if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
