This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize