Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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