dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize