sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
