So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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