We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
