I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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