dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
