shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
40s are totally the cure
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
