i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
