I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize