somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize