I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We had sex on a dog bed..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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