i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
