Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
