dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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