STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
