this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
