a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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