apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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