First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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