I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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