Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
