I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
