Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
