If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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