Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize