I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
