She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
