I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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