Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he puts the penis in happiness.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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