I hope mine doesn't look like that
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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