I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
